Tuesday, February 2, 2010

PSA on PSL: Pocket-Sized Lesbians

I tweeted recently about one of my favorite things: POCKET-SIZED LESBIANS. A lot of my tweeps agreed with me there, but more than a couple of you had some questions about these fucking adorable munchkins. Yeah, I said it. Munchkins.
Reese Witherspoon is 5'2. Munchkin.

Straight to the good stuff. What makes one a pocket-sized lesbian? PSL's make you want to throw 'em in your pocket and carry 'em with you everywhere. I’m not exactly an official rule maker on this one (I still need to fill out the application) but I like to say anything 5’2 (without heels!) and under. Here is what makes it interesting: Pocket-sized lesbians usually tend to lie about their height. I know, I know. Like lying is going to Pinocchio their ass to 5’2! You wouldn't believe how many girls will throw that extra one or two inches in there. Honey, you don’t have to lie to me! You’re pocket size, and its nothing to be mad about... Lea Michele. You're a 5'2 PSL in the making... I choose to think.

Let me just be clear about this. There is a difference between a short lesbian, and a pocket-sized lesbian. You dont say "Awe!" when you see a short girl. A tiny woman you see and immediately wanted to pick up? Pocket-sized lesbian. Does she wear heels with everything and still only come up to your boobs? Pocket-sized. Don’t get me wrong here. PSL’s are petite women but petite women with huge personality; big enough you'll forget she’s shorter than you. Thats what really makes a PSL. You see, it isn’t just about the shortness- it’s what comes in the pocket-sized package. PSL’s tend to be the strongest, hardheaded, sassiest women I run into. Not to mention confidence for miles. Isn't confidence sexy? Plus they look fucking adorable in everything! I tend to forget how short my pocket-sized lesbians friends are, until we hug and she’s in my boobs, or I see her in a pea coat. Every time I see a PSL in a pea coat, I just want to grab her by the lapel and lift her up in the air, just because I can. Yeah, I'm talking to you 5'2 Amy Poehler!

So let her lie about those 2 little inches, cause a pocket-sized lesbian makes up for in every other way.