Saturday, February 13, 2010

Dear Valentines Day, I dont gotta do anything!

Valentines Day, to me, is a cornerstone of the expectations of love. The first and only valentine I had was in 3rd grade (pause for reaction). Yes. In 3rd grade I was asked to be someone’s valentine, and it rocked my world. Yeah, it only lasted for a couple of weeks, but I still count it. Who wouldn’t? HA! That was then though. My childhood was filled with fanciful dreams, like every little girls childhood. Little girls are surrounded by hearts, flowers and kisses from practically the day their born. Its on their clothes, its on their backpacks, and in their hair. Around that age, it’s the first time there’s a possibility of having a valentine. The movies they see prepared them: how one finds love and exactly how magical it should be upon finding it. Give me a second to get my fan.

Let me give an example what messages like these can do to young girls. I had a friend, lets call her Jan. Before Jan got her first kiss, she dreamed about it… aloud. This is how she imagined it (dreamy haze). First, her and her dream man would return home from the most amazing date ever (probably involved being on a boat in a pond). While in his car they would lock eyes- BUT NO! Not here! He would break eye contact, jump out and hurry over to her side to open her door. He offers her his probably strong hand and she would slide out of his car like butter. They walk hand in hand to her front door, slowly, so they could make the moment under the sunset sky last as long as possible. Then, while each is gazing at the other, he lets go of her hand and starts to move it up. He brushes aside her perfect bangs and leans in slow, for the gentlest peck of a kiss that even a snowflake could have survived.

Needless to say, when she did get her first kiss (senior year) it didn’t happen that way for Jan. Just like when she walked in to prom, the DJ didn’t stop playing, everyone including the spotlight wasn’t focused her, and no one gasped. NOTE: These are her actual fantasies. Sorry, “Jan”.

Who am I to judge? I haven’t had a valentine since my first. Call me unlucky in love. I don’t think I’ve ever really felt the need to have one. Now I know what you’re saying. “She really is single.” I see how you could see it that way. My point is not the same as the rant and rave listed above. I've done "crazy in love" stuff; danced in the rain; had pillow fights; made gifts that took me months to make; gone to romantic dinners; stayed up all night talking about nothing; pre-planned “spontaneous road trips”; downed a case of champagne. I have done all of the above (plus all the other cliché Valentines Day gestures), with someone I love/d and NOT on Valentines Day. If it is really all about love, Valentines Day should be just another day. Which goes to show that Valentines Day can suck it, cause you should be sharing your love all year round. All it does is abuse expectations of love by dedicating a day to love. So while it should be just another day for couples in love, single people are the kids in class that aren’t getting any. Take that how you will. Someone that needs a holiday to show me they care, I don’t want.

So, Valentines Day, I don’t gotta do anything! I don’t need or want a man. Spare me your flowers, candy, cards, and jewelry. I’m not going to sit and wait for the phone to ring. I’m going to enjoy my Sunday giving all my love to someone who deserves it: my dog. She loves me every damn day no matter what. I guess the least I could do is give her one of my Sundays. I know what I said about the jewelry, but just in case, I’ll be at the park. Look for a brunette with a chocolate lab.