Saturday, March 20, 2010

My Birth Month

Forgive me friends. March is my birth month, and in the midst of evaluating my life (as is customary of birth month) I put off blogging. But March 21st is approaching and thus my birthday. Another year for the books, finished.

The first question is: How are things going? Hell, I’m alive! So, I’ve got that going for me. My birth month has led me to discover what some call a “quarter-life crisis”. I’m sure you curious 20-somethings are wondering what exactly the quarter-life crisis entails. Well don’t go running off to Wikipedia yet. Here are some “symptoms” of a quarter-life crisis:

-Realizing that the pursuits of one's peers are useless
-Insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
-Insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
-Re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
-Lack of friendships or romantic relationships
-Disappointment with one's job
-Boredom with social interactions
-Loss of closeness to high school and college friends
-Financially rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipated high cost of living, etc.)
-A sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

I'm pretty sure I fit the bill. All around me my friends are drifting off one at a time. Wedding invitations are slapping me in the face left and right, and when friends tell me they're pregnant it has become inappropriate to ask them “What are you going to do?”. Yes, growing up. I guess that’s what I call it. After reflecting on it I decided that all that shouldn’t bother me. I actually like the thought of there being someone out there that will someday be my wife. Everyday we wake up and live our lives without each other until some day under some strange circumstance, we’ll meet. That could be the first lesbian Disney movie, not counting "The Sound of Music". In other words, it'll happen when it happens.

Then there's the job part. I don’t have business or desk-job dreams and that kind of freaks everyone out. I’m a dreamer and I’ve been told that if I want those dreams I have got to get out of this place. Most of the people I know are content to take what they can get where they are, but I have high apply pie in the sky hopes. This might seem a bit like digression but it makes me think of “Man On Wire”. It is a documentary about the high-wire walker Philippe Petit and his quest to high-wire walk between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. Philippe tells the story of how he first got the idea to do it. He was 19 when he read a newspaper article about the not-yet-constructed Twin Towers, which was accompanied by a picture of what the tallest building in the world would look like upon completion. High-wire walking between the towers became his dream. Philippe Petit while retelling that story said it best:
“The object of my dream doesn’t exist yet.”

No it didn’t exist, but five years later it did. In 1974, six days before he turned 25, Philippe Petit spent 45 minutes walking, kneeling, and laying on the wire 1,368 feet in the air between the Twin Towers. He was arrested immediately after stepping off the wire.

I like this story because it makes my dream seem realistic. Honestly, who’s dream could be crazier than that? So instead of wondering whether or not I can do something, or whether or not it’s the acceptable thing to do, I’m going to keep moving forward. Settling is the worst thing I can do because of fear. Which is why I’m moving to a new state. Not only a new state, I’m moving across the country to Portland, Oregon. Well, I don’t want to stay here. I want to walk out my front door and see stuff happening. I’m nervous about it, and it will be a brand new start, but its Portland.

To make next years evaluation easier I’ve decided to make some goals. If I’m starting a new life, I might as well do it right.

1) Be more social. After all if I’m going to meet my wife, odds are I’ll have to leave my house.
2) Network. I like to think it’s all about who you know.
3) Say “Yes” and “No” with more thought.
4) Smile more. Insert some comment from my father about paying for braces here.
5) Be the leading lady in my life story.