April Fools Bring April Showers

The funniest person I ever met was a classmate of mine. I went to a parochial school with Bible study, uniforms, and the works. She was from California, swore like a sailor, and had a laugh similar to that of Fran Drescher. Things were looking up, until I realized she was too funny.

How can someone be too funny? Well, it ends with a sweatshirt tied around your waist, and begins with laughing so hard you pee your pants. This girl was so funny she’d make me laugh until all of my laughter turned into shame. It only took the first couple times before I knew it was becoming a problem. I was afraid it would happen again, but I couldn't NOT talk to her- she was the funniest person I knew! Its a vicious cycle. You don’t hear about these things on Oprah but they happen. Everyday, I worried about it until she moved away at the end of the year. Finally, I could laugh freely again.

It is both a relief and a disappointment that I have yet to meet someone that funny since. Where is this headed? April Fools day is here! What better way to give a shout out to my favorite funny ladies than leading in with a story about peeing my pants? These are the women I would throw on a panty liner for- just in case.


Amy Poehler


Amy Poehler is my hero. If I made a list of people who inspire me, she would be on there twice with an asterisk. “Pawnee's library department is the most diabolical ruthless bunch of bureaucrats I've ever seen. They're like a biker gang. But instead of shotguns and crystal meth, they use political savvy... and shushing.” *Leslie Knope


Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman is shameless and I love it.


Ellen Degeneres

Almost every time I watch Ellen I get choked up, but she makes me laugh more than cry. I love seeing her pranks. You have to give Ellen a nod for laughing, dancing, and making the world a little better everyday.


Madeline Kahn

Madeline Kahn next to Mel Brooks was the greatest contribution to Mel Brooks’ movies. “Its twoo! Its twoo!” I think of her as the original Kristin Chenoweth.


Jane Lynch

Watch any movie or show featuring Jane Lynch and you’re guaranteed a laugh. If for some reason you have yet to see her as Sue Sylvester in “GLEE”, don’t wait till the show returns on April 13th! You need to get on YouTube now.


Chelsea Handler

I was trying to save some cash and made the mistake of reading one of Chelsea Handlers books at the bookstore. The stories she tells are so funny I couldn’t contain my laughter. If the random spurts of laughter weren't embarrassing enough the death stares from my fellow readers were. If you haven’t read her books yet, I recommend you skip the death stares and go for the purchase. Whatever way you do it, READ HER BOOKS!

PSA on PSL: Pocket-Sized Lesbians

I tweeted recently about one of my favorite things: POCKET-SIZED LESBIANS. A lot of my tweeps agreed with me there, but more than a couple of you had some questions about these fucking adorable munchkins. Yeah, I said it. Munchkins.
Reese Witherspoon is 5'2. Munchkin.

Straight to the good stuff. What makes one a pocket-sized lesbian? PSL's make you want to throw 'em in your pocket and carry 'em with you everywhere. I’m not exactly an official rule maker on this one (I still need to fill out the application) but I like to say anything 5’2 (without heels!) and under. Here is what makes it interesting: Pocket-sized lesbians usually tend to lie about their height. I know, I know. Like lying is going to Pinocchio their ass to 5’2! You wouldn't believe how many girls will throw that extra one or two inches in there. Honey, you don’t have to lie to me! You’re pocket size, and its nothing to be mad about... Lea Michele. You're a 5'2 PSL in the making... I choose to think.

Let me just be clear about this. There is a difference between a short lesbian, and a pocket-sized lesbian. You dont say "Awe!" when you see a short girl. A tiny woman you see and immediately wanted to pick up? Pocket-sized lesbian. Does she wear heels with everything and still only come up to your boobs? Pocket-sized. Don’t get me wrong here. PSL’s are petite women but petite women with huge personality; big enough you'll forget she’s shorter than you. Thats what really makes a PSL. You see, it isn’t just about the shortness- it’s what comes in the pocket-sized package. PSL’s tend to be the strongest, hardheaded, sassiest women I run into. Not to mention confidence for miles. Isn't confidence sexy? Plus they look fucking adorable in everything! I tend to forget how short my pocket-sized lesbians friends are, until we hug and she’s in my boobs, or I see her in a pea coat. Every time I see a PSL in a pea coat, I just want to grab her by the lapel and lift her up in the air, just because I can. Yeah, I'm talking to you 5'2 Amy Poehler!

So let her lie about those 2 little inches, cause a pocket-sized lesbian makes up for in every other way.

First Woman of 2010

My first post of 2010 is important (to me). This post sets the tone for the whole new year! That might be a bit dramatic, but I'm excited about it. I wanted to pick a special lady I could keep my eye on in 2010. A woman who I'm dying to see more from. A woman... that makes me feel good!
Breath taking. Knee slapping. Amy Poehler.





I was a Poehler fan before Parks and Recreation. Her time on Saturday Night Live was priceless, but I dont think it is inaccurate to say she was familiar with Tina Fey's shadow. If I ever get to share a cab with one of them, hands-down, I hope its Miss Poehler. Dont get me wrong. I love me some Tina Fey. Baby Mama was one of the funniest movies of 2009, and if you disagree- you're wrong. Just thinking about Amy Poehler makes me smile. There's the beef. Indeed, she has the looks (and facial expressions to die for), but its her honest-to-goodness personality that lets me think we could be friends; perhaps one day (at least on twitter). She seems like the sort of braud that would always greet you with a strong hug and a laugh. My kind of woman.


This past season of Parks and Recreation was funnier and all around more enjoyable than The Office. More than once I was caught talking to the television; trying to inform Michael Scott that he was embarrassing me. Each week, I yearned for some Knope. That show had me laughing from start to finish. Can you dig it? Genius is the character Leslie Knope.


Somewhere toward the middle of the season something else had me grinning ear to ear. I think you know what I'm talking about. The friendship between Leslie Knope and Anne was coming out in full swing. I could not make it through an episode without saying, "They are so gay!". I watched wide-eyed all season for those subtle touches that made me scream like a little girl on the inside. Is my face red? Finally the episode came where the word came out: LESBIAN! I laughed so hard- you might have heard it. Even though they didn't dwell on it, I still think there's more to that story. Add that to all the above mentioned and that is why I will be watching Amy Poehler in 2010. There is more coming from these funny ladies. I never lie. Parks and Recreation returns January 14th.


Dont act like you don't want to see something happen with this:


A tip of the hat to you, Amy Poehler! Go on with your bad self!
I see you, girl!